7

Jon and Richie enter the autopsy suite, following the Dr. Rowe through the door.  The smell is one that Jon recognizes from having to identify McKenna, all those years ago.  




Jon's body is suddenly overcome with chills, not because it's cold but because the memory is real and chilling.

"I can't do this!"  Jon says to Richie, putting his hand on his shoulder to brace himself.  "Rich, I can't do this."

The doctor stands opposite them in position to pull back the sheet that's covering Beth's body and face.  "I'm right here."  Richie reminds his friend.  "You can do this.  You have to, Jon."

"She can't be gone."  Jon leans on his buddy, resting his head on his shoulder.  "She never said goodbye."

"You can do this man.  If you don't you'll regret it."  Richie tells Jon, knowing that if he doesn't get his one last look, if he doesn't say his goodbye, he'll regret it for the rest of his life.  "She needs you to do this for her."

"Are you ready?"  the doctor interrupts and waits for a response.

Jon steadies himself, rubs his face trying to wake up for the dream.  His hands rest at the base of his neck and he tries to squeeze the tension out.  With a deep breath, "I need a minute."  He exhales loudly, trying to buy borrowed time.

"Mr. Bon Jovi, we have photographs that we can show you, you can identify her that way if you'd rather."  Dr. Rowe tells him, almost in a hurry to get this over with.  Dr. Rowe can see that it's not going to go very well.  He can see the hurt, the pain and the devastation in the rockstar's face.  

Shaking his head with a strong no, "I'm ready."

Richie moves in closer to Jon and puts his arm around him, preparing for whatever might come next. The speakers over head are blaring random announcements that neither are paying attention to.  The sound of the morgue coolers go un noticed, all that they see and hear are their own heartbeats and the body laying on the table infront of them, draped in a cold sheet.  Firming his grip on Jon, Richie watches as the doctor slowly pulls the sheet back.

Jon gasps for air and covers his mouth as the face of the dead person is shown.  It's Beth.  It's his Beth.  "Oh my God!"  he mutters, "No, it can't be her!"  Richie feels him go week in the knees, "It can't be her!'

For what seemed like a lifetime, Jon stood there and did nothing but cry.  The tears were endless, matching the pain that he knew he'd feel for the rest of his life.  "Mr. Bon Jovi, is this your wife, Beth Adams Bongiovi?"

Richie shakes his head, looking at the doctor, "Yes, it's here."  And he says it in a way that the doctor could tell that they were done with him.  The doctor laid the sheet down, just leaving Beth's face and neck to be see, "I"ll be in my office if you need anything."  He tells them and leaves them alone.

After a few minutes to compose himself, Jon took the giant step to get closer to Beth.  As he stood above her, looking down at her, his heart broke even more.  "What am I going to do without you?"

Richie moved in, making sure that he was close enough to Jon to catch his fall if her needs to and he just wants to be sure that Jon knows that he's there.  The two of them have been through hell, as they knew it together, but this is a whole new depth for them.  

Jon reaches up and touches her cheek, startled by how cold she is.  She has always been warm to his touch and she always leaned into his touch.  The chill and the still are shocking to him.  He looks at her face and can see the lacerations that they tried to hide.  They fixed her hair in a way to not show the gash in her skull from going through the windshield.  Her nose is bruised, one eye is black and blue.  There is dry blood all over her, Jon could see that they washed off all that they could in the little bit of time that they had.  Seeing her 'hurt' takes him to his knees.  

Richie helps him stand and steady himself and says to him, "Jon, she's at peace now.  She's with the babies and no longer tortured by her past."  As Richie says the words, he believes what he's saying.  He knows that Beth was tormented and often paralyzed by her past.  Knowing that she's at peace and with McKenna, Rowan and Spencer - that gives Richie the only peace that he can find in this situation.  "She's up there holding them tight and giving them kisses, from you."

Jon breaks down and cries hysterically. He can picture what Richie is saying.  Beth on her knees, holding all three at once, tight in her arms and kissing them all over their faces.  He can see Beth's smile, the smile that fills her eye.  He can see her happier than he has ever made her and he knows that if she couldn't be with him and the twins, being with the kids in heaven was her second choice.  

Sniffing, Jon agrees, "I know she's with them and I know that she's at peace, but she has babies here Richie."  His cries are getting too much to control.  "She has babies here that need her."  Jon leans over, resting his forehead on Beth's, he whispers to her, "You didn't say goodbye."  His tears fall down onto Beth's face, "You can't be gone."  He can't find the energy to lift his head, he can't find the strength to break physical contact with her.  "We had so much more to do."

Richie's heart is breaking, seeing Jon in the state that he is in.  But Richie doesn't know what to do, other than just stand there and wait for Jon to need him.  Richie rests his hand on Jon's back, just to assure him that he's not alone.  

Dr. Rowe is in his office watching Jon and Richie through a window.  He can see that the situation isn't going to change anytime soon, he can tell that Jon is going to need more than a few minutes  Instead of feeling like a stalker, he grabs the envelope off of his desk and takes it to Jon.  "Excuse me, Mr. Bon Jovi, these are her personal effects that she had on her.  I thought that you might want them."

Richie reaches over and takes the envelope from the doctor.  Jon doesn't respond to what the doctor says, he's still talking to his wife.  "Thank you."  Richie says to the doctor.  

"I'll leave you to be." the doctor adds and turns and leaves the suite.  

"Do you want this or do you want me to hold onto it." Richie asks Jon, knowing that there has to be a goodbye soon.  There are things that Jon needs to do and there are things that need to be done with Beth.  

"What's in it?" Jon asks, slowly standing up.  He tousles Beth's hair, not able to take his eyes off of her.  He can see beyond the wounds and the bruises.  He sees the Beth that he fell in love with.  He sees the Beth that gave him 5 beautiful children.  He sees the Beth that he married, the Beth that completed him.